My Experience as a Life Coach

Here’s the thing: you don’t need to have a pristine life to be a coach. Coaching is about inquiry, asking the right questions, listening, empathy, and empowering someone to become their best self. I know many talented coaches whose life doesn’t look that great on social media — some of these coaches aren’t even on social media at all! They make a living because their clients recommend their services. They are talented coaches because they know how to coach, not because their life is perfect or they know how to run an auto drip campaign on MailChimp.

I don’t do much 1-on-1 coaching, because personally, given my background and the counseling in ministerial training, I think I can provide more value writing, speaking, and doing workshops, but when someone approaches me about hiring me as their career coach, I ask them why they want to work with me. If they say anything close to “your life is awesome, I want your life,” I don’t respond to their email. Don’t get me wrong, my name is Edna — I love my life. But it’s my life. It’s not intended to be someone else’s.

Trust me, my life isn’t for you.

I refuse to sell some notion that my life is ideal or perfect — it’s inauthentic and it’s bullshit. I see some life coaches prancing around the beach and I’m like, “#Livefree?! You just quit your job! I know your ass is broke! 

All of us (myself included) are sharing our highlight reels on social media, but I am immediately turned off by life coaches who make life seem easy or perfect in order to sell their product. These coaches give a bad reputation to talented coaches who have a tangible and valuable service to offer.

The coaches I know who make a living from coaching, don’t spend their days at the beach. They are on video calls with clients, working with executives and senior managers in office buildings, meeting with students at universities, and running trainings at leadership development programs. They don’t work 4 hours a week. They work 40 or 50 hours a week, sometimes more. Their life isn’t perfect (no ones life is perfect), but they are still a great coach.

When we depict an idealized life others should aspire to, we ignore the fact that most people’s lives are actually really complicated and nuanced. 

Most of the time, when people are “in flow,” “coming alive,” or “living with purpose,” they are not at the beach or sipping a green smoothie or doing endless yoga or traveling in a foreign country, they are studying in a dimly-lit library at 1 in the morning, sweating in a noisy warehouse, or a managing a classroom full of restless children. Or, they are cooking dinner for their family.

The goal of coaching (and personal development work in general) should not be to get people to ignore these day-to-day rituals, but to find more personal meaning in all aspects of their life. It’s not about escaping to the beach and posting a photo (#lovemylife!), it’s about finding meaning, purpose, and joy in the day-to-day (and sometimes mundane) rituals that make up our lives.

We need more coaches. More business coaches, relationship coaches, career coaches, leadership coaches, communications coaches, and even more life coaches. But we need coaches who are honest about the services they are able to provide to their clients (and just as authentic about the services they are not qualified to offer).

By all means, design your ideal life and travel to exotic locations—just be conscious of what it is you’re actually selling. I’m all for personal development retreats (even ones on the beach) that offer honest and practical solutions for navigating the complex and nuanced world we live in. I have participated in retreats that are extremely powerful; offering someone permission to be who they are, embrace their fears, overcome roadblocks and barriers, set new intentions, align work with purpose, integrate health and wellness into daily routines, and build a community of like-minded peers.

Life is not easy. There are no 3 simple steps to fulfillment or 10 ways to do anything. Happiness cannot be bought for $495 (or $2500). There is not one answer and there is no quick fix, so let’s stop selling one.  

I am a wonderfully made woman spirit lead learning to navigate this human experience while living my purpose realizing my cohesiveness to do it all with ease writing, speaking and guiding others along their way.   

If you are interested in speaking with me contact me at or email me for more information.