Living My True Self on Purpose

It’s such a simple thing to fall into somebody’s arms, to throw yourself into their bed, to learn the language of fingertips on skin.  In sex, we can find ourselves or lose ourselves, long moments of free-floating bliss where nothing else exists except mouths and hands and the sounds clothes make as they shed. But the mere act of being with someone isn’t enough to satisfy me. Intimacy goes beyond sharing my body; I want to share my soul.   From the couch, to the bed, out doors at a football game and even traveling the world together, there's that same old feeling, intimacy.  His voice, when he makes a joke and he knows you'll like the punch line, the disappointment you'll feel even across phone lines, those rays of intimate energy. We have so gone away from being that spirit being after living so long in this shell that we've forgotten how we operate.  We fall so short of happiness because of humanism.  Now I am not saying go out and leave your boy...

As human beings we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. To any men reading this article, this is not just a “female thing”. Men do it too, you compare cars; golf clubs; boats; positions/titles in companies; bodies in the gym……. come on, be honest.  You do! Ladies, I know that you will understand what I am taking about. If you are completely honest, you will admit that we compare ourselves with each other all- the- time :- our clothes, our hair, our kid’s behavior, kid’s school marks, who looks thinner, who is fitter, who appears more successful; who entertains the best, who cooks the best etc… WE ALL DO IT. We compare ourselves with others and then when we don’t measure up to our perceived standards we get disappointed in ourselves. We tell ourselves we are not good enough, we tell ourselves we have failed in some way. The thing is, if we do this long enough we end up feeling like a failure in many areas of our lives. When we constantly put ourselves down and desi...

A client asked me recently to write about cheating in romantic relationships. This is a touchy subject because it stings so much. I’ve experienced the pain of cheating first hand, and I can tell you I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. All a relationship is after all is two people learning how to trust one another. Trust is the foundation of everything else. Without trust, there isn’t a relationship. When cheating happens, that trust is shattered. And it’s very hard to get it back (not impossible). There are different perspectives on cheating. For me, it’s a deal breaker. For my therapist, she has seen many a couple work through it and come back even stronger. There’s no right or wrong way to look at it, but there is a deeper lesson inside the painful act of cheating that I’d like to speak to. I’ve worked with many clients who have been cheated on in different ways: sexually and emotionally. Sexual cheating is when you have sex outside the relationship. It’s the ...

At a young age, I lost trust in others because the person I trusted most coming into the world had broken it. While they tried their hardest to create an environment of love and mask the  fear , I lost trust in my adult family mentors ability to protect me.  While I have a great relationship with them now, you can see how I didn’t trust anyone in my early adulthood.  I felt like a lone wolf and as an entrepreneur this can translate to a driving force. And in the beginning of my career, I gained success... to a certain point.  I started learning that I needed to let my guard down. In relationships of business... and love. Learning to trust was the hardest thing I ever did. Through self inquiry and finding healing from my inner child, I shed the layers of distrust. And when I cracked that door open, it was less scary than I thought. In some ways it felt refreshing being more open. I even trusted myself more. I didn’t doubt my decisions ...